Monday, January 26, 2004
You really don’t want to piss me off…
I have been told that I come across as a very nice person. However, those people that know me well know that I am not nearly as sweet and kind as I may seem on the outside. I tend to be very manipulative, most especially if you wrong me in some way. But then when you try to figure out my manipulativeness, I look at you and wonder why you could possibly be attacking ME of all people.
Here are some prime examples:
I cannot STAND it when people cut me off in line for the subway. I also can’t stand it when I am trying to scramble up a set of stairs and someone comes from out of nowhere and pushes me out of the way so that they can get up them first. This type of shit happens to me all the time. So, one day last week, this girl not only cut me off on the way out of the subway, but she did it again going up the stairs. Anger rose in my gut and I did my best to get away from her before I punched her in the back. On my way down another set of stairs, this girl showed up AGAIN and cut me off. I couldn’t believe it. And what I couldn’t believe even more is that without thinking about it, I deliberately kicked her foot and tripped her. She stumbled at least 5 feet and looked back at me. With the crowd surging behind me, I looked at her as though I had NO idea who could have tripped her. But deep down I thought, you’re just lucky you didn’t fall DOWN the stairs asshole.
If I go to buy a pair of pants, shoes, gloves, dildos, whatever, it is in your best interest to be polite to me. I don’t expect much and I don’t need you to blow me. I just need a smile and maybe a “thank you”. If you treat me like shit and then hand me back the wrong change, I am going to take that money and laugh at you as you get fired for that missing $20.
If you are a student that takes part in my organization and you talk to me every day like my college education means nothing in comparison to your Ivy League education, I hate you. I will also take every request you have and throw it in the garbage. When I am confronted on the missing paperwork, I will stand in front of you AND my boss and act like I have never seen you in my life. I mean, learn how to be respectful or understand that it will take you 12 times as long to get the paperwork you need processed.
If I find out that you have said something bad about me to one of my friends or boyfriend, I will spend weeks coming up with a way to get you back. For example, were you wondering where that missing Metrocard went? Yeah, I saw you drop it on the floor and I stole it and I threw it away. Sorry that its 3am and you now have no way to get home.
Did you call my office and ask for someone that doesn’t work here? When I told you that you had the wrong number, did you huff and puff and hang up on me? You see…I don’t like that very much and I have caller ID. Don’t be surprised if I call you back periodically throughout the day using my blocked number and either blow a whistle in your ear or slam the phone down as soon as you answer. It really does pay to be polite.
It’s not that I am a jerk to everyone. In actuality, I tend to be a fairly patient person. I will not immediately hurt you. But if you come at me over and over or if you catch me on the wrong day, beware. I can be quite a psycho with no compassion. I have left many in my wake.
I have been told that I come across as a very nice person. However, those people that know me well know that I am not nearly as sweet and kind as I may seem on the outside. I tend to be very manipulative, most especially if you wrong me in some way. But then when you try to figure out my manipulativeness, I look at you and wonder why you could possibly be attacking ME of all people.
Here are some prime examples:
I cannot STAND it when people cut me off in line for the subway. I also can’t stand it when I am trying to scramble up a set of stairs and someone comes from out of nowhere and pushes me out of the way so that they can get up them first. This type of shit happens to me all the time. So, one day last week, this girl not only cut me off on the way out of the subway, but she did it again going up the stairs. Anger rose in my gut and I did my best to get away from her before I punched her in the back. On my way down another set of stairs, this girl showed up AGAIN and cut me off. I couldn’t believe it. And what I couldn’t believe even more is that without thinking about it, I deliberately kicked her foot and tripped her. She stumbled at least 5 feet and looked back at me. With the crowd surging behind me, I looked at her as though I had NO idea who could have tripped her. But deep down I thought, you’re just lucky you didn’t fall DOWN the stairs asshole.
If I go to buy a pair of pants, shoes, gloves, dildos, whatever, it is in your best interest to be polite to me. I don’t expect much and I don’t need you to blow me. I just need a smile and maybe a “thank you”. If you treat me like shit and then hand me back the wrong change, I am going to take that money and laugh at you as you get fired for that missing $20.
If you are a student that takes part in my organization and you talk to me every day like my college education means nothing in comparison to your Ivy League education, I hate you. I will also take every request you have and throw it in the garbage. When I am confronted on the missing paperwork, I will stand in front of you AND my boss and act like I have never seen you in my life. I mean, learn how to be respectful or understand that it will take you 12 times as long to get the paperwork you need processed.
If I find out that you have said something bad about me to one of my friends or boyfriend, I will spend weeks coming up with a way to get you back. For example, were you wondering where that missing Metrocard went? Yeah, I saw you drop it on the floor and I stole it and I threw it away. Sorry that its 3am and you now have no way to get home.
Did you call my office and ask for someone that doesn’t work here? When I told you that you had the wrong number, did you huff and puff and hang up on me? You see…I don’t like that very much and I have caller ID. Don’t be surprised if I call you back periodically throughout the day using my blocked number and either blow a whistle in your ear or slam the phone down as soon as you answer. It really does pay to be polite.
It’s not that I am a jerk to everyone. In actuality, I tend to be a fairly patient person. I will not immediately hurt you. But if you come at me over and over or if you catch me on the wrong day, beware. I can be quite a psycho with no compassion. I have left many in my wake.
